Elle Ward, a 28-year-old single mother from Orpington, projected an image of confidence and fun. In reality, she grappled with intense self-doubt and depression.
“I could be in the middle of a conversation, looking like I’m having a good time. But in my head, I constantly asked if I was doing it right or if people liked me,” Elle explains. A persistent inner voice questioned everything.
Teenage Struggles and Adult Burnout
As a teenager, Elle battled self-harm, depression, and low self-esteem, often clashing with her parents. In her late twenties, single parenthood and a demanding teaching job pushed her to the brink.
“On the drive to work, I silently begged someone to crash into my car so I wouldn’t have to do it myself,” she reveals.
In October 2024, exhaustion from work and a breakup led Elle to plan her death. She went off the rails, using recreational drugs on weekends and straining family ties. “Everyone thought I was selfish, but I was ill. I felt I couldn’t do this anymore,” she states.
That week, Elle spent quality time with her eight-year-old son at the zoo, arcade, and London, visited grandparents, and dined with parents—quietly saying goodbyes.
A Neighbor’s Intervention Saves Her Life
“I felt at peace with ending my life. It was the best I’d felt in a long time,” Elle recalls. After kissing her parents goodnight, a neighbor’s visit interrupted her plan. Paramedics rushed her to A&E, then to a psychiatric ward in Sidcup.
Arriving at 5 a.m., she encountered a disorienting scene: a man in a dress blasting music. “I was petrified and not ready to speak,” she says. Her phone and toiletries were confiscated; everything in her room bolted down.
For days, Elle lay on a plastic mattress, refusing food, showers, or talk. One morning, another patient hid in her room, heightening her fear.
Mixed Experiences in Psychiatric Care
Gradually, Elle connected with patients and staff. “Many were kind. It was the best and worst six weeks—finally around people who understood. I didn’t have to hide,” she shares.
One patient in women’s leggings, a high-vis jacket, and missing teeth proved exceptionally compassionate, checking on her meals. Yet, professional support disappointed: only two psychiatrist visits in six weeks, no therapy, canceled activities due to staffing shortages, and unhelpful group sessions.
Discharged near Christmas to be with her son, suicidal urges returned. “Hospital felt safe, but home offered everything at my fingertips with no protection,” Elle notes.
Gaps in Aftercare Lead to Crisis
Promised home treatment within 48 hours proved a brief, pointless check-in. Community mental health follow-up never materialized for months. Her mother repeatedly contacted GP, hospital, and teams, shuffled between services.
A psychiatrist appointment letter arrived for May. “I cried to my mum—I don’t think I can last that long,” Elle remembers. Private care was unaffordable. Nights brought racing thoughts; days, isolation. Family worry reinforced her worthlessness.
Elle made further suicide attempts but avoided hospital, seeing no point.
Breakthrough Support and New Purpose
In August, a referral to an exceptional NHS psychologist changed everything. “She follows up, books appointments, calls weekly, and treats me like a human,” Elle praises.
Stabilized, she shares her story online, inspiring her charity What About Now. Its flagship, Chatty Corner, partners with cafés in Bromley and Bexley for weekly drop-ins offering companionship and advice. Expansion aims nationwide for accessible, income-blind support.
“No one should face discharge into nothing. People deserve meaningful aftercare,” the mother asserts. She has authored a book on her journey.
“I’m stronger now, busy with my son and charity. Bad days persist, but I feel my best in years. I’m angry—my boy nearly lost me due to care gaps. No one else should suffer this.”
Support Resources
For emotional support, contact Samaritans on 116 123 (24/7), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit their website. HOPELINE247 offers 24/7 help: call 0800 068 4141, text 88247, or email pat@papyrus-uk.org.
