Jacob Zieben and Jacob Paulson have been quick pals once they met in 2013. Apart from their shared title, the pair have been each younger homosexual males recent out of faculty who just lately moved to New York Metropolis.
After two years spent glued on the hip, Paulson mentioned their dynamic rapidly modified after his pal, a private coach from Texas, began relationship mannequin Donald Hood.
“He simply vanished,” Paulson mentioned this week in a telephone interview, choking up. “I had no contact with him, and I simply wished him to be comfortable, and that’s all I actually cared about. And I hoped that he was.”
Though the lack of the friendship stung, Paulson mentioned he moved on years in the past. He didn’t attend his former pal’s 2020 marriage ceremony and was solely conscious from social media that Jacob and Donald each modified their final names to Zieben-Hood.
However Paulson was shocked and flooded with reminiscences when, simply two weeks in the past, he noticed his former pal’s title within the headlines after police discovered the 34-year-old useless inside his Harlem condo.
When authorities entered the condo on July 31 after Donald known as for assist, they discovered Jacob slumped over his bathroom with a gash on his head and a number of stab wounds to the again of his leg, one deep sufficient to penetrate muscle, in keeping with charging paperwork.
His demise got here after years of alleged abuse relationship to 2022, detailed in a sequence of charging paperwork in opposition to Donald on felony counts together with strangulation and menacing. These costs stay pending.
Donald, a 40-year-old mannequin with over 67,000 Instagram followers, was arrested on July 31 and charged with a number of crimes, together with housebreaking. He’s at present being held at Rikers Island with out bail. Prosecutors haven’t charged anybody with homicide or named a suspect for Jacob’s demise, citing his pending post-mortem, however mentioned they’re investigating the case as a murder.
Within the days since his demise, Paulson and 7 others who knew Jacob spoke with NBC Information as they slowly discovered in regards to the private coach’s life during the last decade. And whereas his deadly stabbing comes as a shock, those that knew Jacob consider Donald minimize out his pals — and potential lifelines — years earlier than he actually wanted them.
“I want I had carried out extra, however, in hindsight, what would you do?” mentioned certainly one of Jacob’s outdated pals, Marti G. Cummings.
Donald’s legal professional declined to remark.
After learning biomedical sciences at Texas A&M College, Jacob moved to New York Metropolis in 2013 and rapidly met Paulson and Joshua Baker.
Paulson and Baker mentioned that the trio by no means went “wherever with out one another” and spent limitless days cooped up in Jacob’s Hell’s Kitchen condo, which they are saying ignored Central Park, taking part in video video games, consuming fried meals, and daydreaming about their futures.
“We have been these cute little misfits that have been making an attempt to determine the place we slot in New York society,” Baker mentioned.
Cummings met Jacob across the identical time and gravitated towards his selflessness and want for group. A distinguished New York Metropolis drag queen who makes use of they/them pronouns, Cummings mentioned Jacob would incessantly stroll them between gigs late at evening to verify they obtained there safely.
“He was a protector, which is why I feel it makes this entire factor sadder,” Cummings mentioned. “He didn’t get to be shielded from this.”
Lauren Foster, a pal of Donald’s since 2000, described him as “a great man” and mentioned that she was by no means beneath the impression that his relationship was troubled. She did, nevertheless, acknowledge that the roles Jacob and Donald performed have been clear.
“I don’t assume he had a ton of pals,” Foster mentioned of Jacob. “Don was form of the alpha within the relationship.”
“There’s at all times one individual that’s dominant within the relationship, and that was positively Don,” she added. “I feel Don can be the alpha in any relationship. He’s bigger than life.”
Baker mentioned that shortly after Jacob met Donald within the spring of 2015, Jacob started dodging invites, declining telephone calls, and ignoring textual content messages. Quickly, Baker famous, Jacob began to even block his pals’ telephone numbers.
Jonathan Starkey, a pal from Texas, recalled that in a single dialog round that point, Jacob mentioned that “quite a bit had modified, and that Donald was a bit of possessive and jealous and form of restricted who he was in contact with.”
“Jacob wasn’t actually somebody who let individuals inform him what to do, which is why it’s so unusual,” Starkey mentioned.
Jacob’s abrupt silence prompted Baker to succeed in out to Donald.
“Jacob is doing very effectively,” Donald wrote to Baker in a November 5, 2015, direct message on Fb, in keeping with screenshots of the dialog offered to NBC Information. “He’s determined to interrupt away from his previous, which sadly included his closest pals, in an effort to transfer ahead with a wholesome life.”
“He’s been very centered and is again heading in the right direction in his life and in an effort to stay centered he’ll stay out of contact for the second,” Donald added.
For years, the one updates Jacob’s pals obtained about their pal got here by means of social media, the place photographs from the couple’s Instagrams confirmed what seemed to be a cheerful couple who traveled the world and lived a glamorous New York life. The pair posted loving selfies, photos from their marriage ceremony in 2020, and snapshots with their households.
However courtroom paperwork paint a protracted sample of alleged abuse within the relationship that authorities say began in 2022.
Prosecutors mentioned within the charging paperwork filed after Jacob’s demise that Donald had 9 home incident experiences filed in opposition to him since 2022, however didn’t present extra particulars in regards to the nature of the incidents or who filed them. In November 2024, an order of safety was issued in New York County Legal Courtroom that directed Donald to stop communication and avoid Jacob, in keeping with charging paperwork related to Donald’s arrest in February.
In February, Donald was arrested and charged with strangulation, amongst a number of different costs, for allegedly attacking Jacob contained in the Harlem condo. Jacob “virtually misplaced consciousness, and sustained swelling, substantial ache, and redness to his neck” from the incident, in keeping with the charging paperwork. Donald pleaded not responsible to the costs within the case that’s nonetheless pending.
A second courtroom order of safety was issued in felony courtroom in April, which as soon as once more prevented Donald from seeing or speaking with Jacob.
Donald was arrested once more in June and charged with felony contempt and menacing, in keeping with courtroom paperwork. The courtroom information allege that Donald held a knife in Jacob’s path and mentioned, “I’ll assault you.” He pleaded not responsible to the costs, and the case remains to be pending.
Paulson mentioned that earlier this 12 months, Jacob adopted him on Instagram and gave him hope that the buddies may reconnect after a quick trade in March.
“I used to be so excited to have that prospect of him coming again into my life after I’d form of let him go as a pal,” Paulson mentioned. “After which to have it actually simply completely finish, it’s simply devastated me. It’s actually wrecked me.”
Donald known as 911 on July 31 from Jacob’s one-bedroom condo at West 138th Avenue and instructed them he discovered his husband useless on the bathroom.
When police arrived, they discovered Donald sitting on their sofa with three cuts to his arm that later required stitches, a black eye, and chew marks, in keeping with a felony grievance. He instructed authorities that Jacob had attacked him.
Nonetheless, prosecutors say that Jacob known as his father from the lavatory earlier than the assault and allegedly instructed him that Donald “was coming at him with knives and stopping him from leaving the condo,” in keeping with the felony grievance. In the course of the name, Jacob’s father allegedly heard Donald screaming derogatory names at Jacob within the background, the grievance added.
Donald was arrested later that day and charged with housebreaking, aggravated felony contempt, felony contempt within the first diploma and possession of a weapon. On Thursday, he was scheduled to seem in courtroom, however a decide waived his look on the request of his legal professional.
He’s now set to seem on September 12, virtually a month after Jacob’s funeral, scheduled for this weekend in San Antonio.
As authorities proceed to analyze the case, Jacob’s pals have been connecting and sharing outdated reminiscences of their late pal.
“Years can go by, however he was our household until’ the tip,” Baker mentioned.
